199Four – Notre Dame of Greater Manila

I once saw Weng Weng in the Manila International Airport (now called NAIA) when I was a kid. I did thought that he was the same age as me because he was just about my size then.

Anyway, here’s a little promotional piece of his classic movie called For Your Height Only.

The Characters:

• Agent 00 – Weng Weng, the highly trained and respected secret agent who is about three feet tall.
• Irma – Secret agent planted within the evil organization, considering she takes strolls in the park with 00 it’s not surprising her cover is blown. Shot just before the ending credits roll.
• The Chief – Leading the forces of good, this guy can make anything sound boring.
• Dr. Van Kohler – Scientist who has created a powerful new weapon, the N-Bomb.
• Anna, Lola, and Marilyn – Women that fall in love with 00 and briefly partner with him, some a little more than others.
• The Big Guy – Heavyset guy who owns a terrible red suit. (No, he is definitely not Santa.) Shot by 00.
• Cobra and Mr. Kaiser – Evil gang leaders who hate midgets, shot by 00.
• An Impressive Number of Evil Henchmen – Just as impressive dead.
• Mr. Giant – Leader of the evil organization, about a full head taller than 00, which isn’t saying much. Shot by 00.

The Plot:
Few films will ever come close to this one, it is just plain wrong and the dubbed dialog hardly helps. Who cares though? It’s a dubbed midget spy film from the Philippines, for some reason I feel the DVD should glow around the edges and be accompanied by a chorus.

When the brilliant scientist Dr. Kohler is kidnapped by an evil organization the forces of good call on Agent 00 to rescue him. Don’t worry that he has to jump kick people in the knees, this guy is lethal. In addition to his hand to hand skills, the agent is an accomplished marksman. One of the amusing things he does is slide across the floor firing his pistol and boy does he slide, one would suspect he is being thrown by a crew member. Tell me that some guy ready to toss Weng Weng along the floor when the director yells, “Action!” is not funny. (I don’t believe you.) The pistol/submachine gun he uses is quite a bit of work, especially putting it together. Good thing all the bad guys give him time to assemble it.

For the most part the film is a blur of gunfights, clandestine meetings, a disco club, and simply confusing stuff, but finally Agent 00 locates the secret island Mr. Giant uses for a hideout. Evil gets the short end of the stick as numerous guards with red berets are gunned down by the triumphant good guys. You’ll never look at a Bond film the same again.

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